Sometimes I have to remember why I am in Waco. In a sense it is almost funny to me now that I think about it. I go to Baylor, I say—but I forget why in the business of my days. I forget about the school part… I love all the other things I am doing here and so genuinely love learning—hands on. With the special needs ministry, God continues to bring us opportunities to serve Him and His children here in Waco. And I relish it, and half the time I don’t know how we are going to do it, or where the hours are going to come from, but it keeps me in a state of dependence on God and He never ceases to provide. I have started observing a pediatric Occupational Therapist and only wish I had more time each week to learn from her. It seems that people with special needs transcend cultures in whole different way. Spending time there or with other groups of people with special needs eases the cultural differences that I continue to struggle with. And then with church and sorority and friends I forget what ‘free’ time is. Which makes it hard to remember that I am here for school—to sit in a class and listen to a lecture about frequency distribution, neo-Darwinism, or equilibrium potential.
When it comes down to it though, it is all just a matter of faith. It is a matter of trusting God and leaning not on my own understanding. It seemed so easy to do so and to follow Him going back to Mexico—going down to Gabriel House even though I hadn’t ever been there and I didn’t have a clue what it would be like. And not only was I able to trust Him in the happy times, but through the struggles and the day to day frustrations. But now… for some reason—even though I knew just what it would be like—and the material I am learning in classes isn’t even new yet—it is so hard to trust God with my heart and be okay with that. I have been asked a number of times lately if I would ever drop out of school or if I believed my place was in Mexico. I don’t know what the future holds—my future is God’s and He knows, but as far as He has told me, my place is here. And that is clear—to get an education that I might be able to better glorify Him and better love His children. As for Mexico—not right now.