Tomorrow will make two weeks since I said goodbye to the kids at Gabriel House; it will finish off my first week of classes; and it will bring to a close the end of my teenage years. I miss the kids—the opportunity to show them and tell them of Christ’s love. I miss Mexico—the culture, the simplicity, and the community of believers there. I walk across Baylor’s campus and think about the kids and the workers—the children for whom I love immensely and the women who became my dear friends—and it is hard for me to comprehend it all in the midst of the great affluence here. I am broken for them. And I am broken for all of us here.
Lately I have withdrawn more that God might help me make sense of it all. In the stillness and the quiet, and in the chaos in the midst of everyone else, he tells me, I am the maker of heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them—I remain faithful forever. I uphold the cause of the oppressed and give food to the hungry. I set prisoners free, give sight to the blind, lift up those who are bowed down and love the righteous. I watch over the foreigner and sustain the fatherless and the widow, but frustrate the ways of the wicked. I reign forever for all generations. (Psalm 146:6-10) With each statement, I find peace. He is in control. He is providing for those in need. He has not forgotten them and I know that there is not a hungry mouth or an abandoned child that goes unseen or unloved by Our Father.
But then He not only tells me this, but He reminds me that He has a plan for me and that right now it is here—to be here. Though my love for orphans grows daily, I am here. And truly I am grateful to be here. I am grateful for the opportunity to receive such an amazing education, for those helping pay—my parents and my grandparents (thank you), for the scholarships to allow for it, and for the mental capacity to maintain them. I am grateful for my friends, in Waco, at home, across the US, and around the world that bring encouragement, support and help to build me into who God has intended me to be. I could not have asked for better friends. I am grateful for the opportunities that God has given me to serve Him and be His hands and feet here in Waco. He has blessed me greatly. And as I come to celebrate 20 years, I am grateful for those too!
Please be praying for me… not that I will “get used” to everything, nor move on, but that I would be here as I walk in God’s will for my life, and that I would continue to do so whatever that looks like and whatever that means! It’s all going to be worth it!