I am one of those people that compartmentalizes things. Thus, I can know something is approaching yet box it up in my mind and never process it. At times, it has its benefits, whereas at others, I suffer the consequences of such a tendency.
Wednesday I went back up to the States. But as I looked out the window on the drive back down and watched the tide coming in the reality began to sink in that it would be quite a while before I would be making that drive again. The ladies keep asking me how much time I have left. I get an email or a message asking if I am back. The box that holding in the reality that a week from now I will be saying my final goodbyes to the women I have come to know and the children I have come to love so dearly—well it is being forced open.
Nevertheless I still have one week left here, and God is not done. He is not done with me. But more importantly, I am convinced He is not done with these kids. He loves them so much. Lately, though in awe by all that God has done and is doing, I still find myself bogged down with the thought of leaving so many needs. Thus I remember:
He is the maker of heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them—he remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous. The lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked. The Lord reigns forever, your God, O Zion for all generations. Praise the Lord. Psalm 146: 6-10
And He cares for the needs of the orphans. He will care for these kids. He will care for Josue. He will care for Irene. He will care for Marcos—for Omar, for Marisol. He will care for Chloe, for Pilar, and for Ruben. Hilary arrived today. She is a special education teacher and will be here for nine months. He will care for them. Luz is working with them. He will care for them. And though I do not know what, I am convinced as He is a powerful God, the maker of heaven and earth, that better things are yet to come for these children. For they are HIS children.
I would love to tell you that my box is completely open. Or that I have gotten rid of it. That I have accepted the reality of next week. But that would be a lie. I’m not sure when I will allow reality to completely sink in. I know it is coming and with teary eyes feel it creeping up on me. So I hug the kids a little longer and let them know that they have a Father in heaven that loves them that remains faithful. And all the rest I must leave to the one that promises to sustain them—to the one that never breaks a promise.